Saturday, December 24, 2005

How it all began

It occurred to me that I should add the proposal story and I'm sure it'd be good to hear something positive, before the headaches began.
It was the day before my birthday, a Friday evening. He had made sure to plan events for the day before so as not to dwarf the idea of one over the other (though I quickly soon forgot about my birthday). As my usual routine on summer Fridays is to complete some of my work at his place, we rushed to get to a computer. I noticed that there were 2 olive green boxes with a band around them on his desk and he said that it was my birthday present. He presented the long flat one to me and I opened it. I was less than satisfied with the thing (something that I really don't need and I wouldn't use at work because it would project a snooty look). I asked him what the other box was and he said he got something for himself too. I rolled my eyes and
proceeded to concentrate on my work while he went to watch the evening news. When I was done with my work, I joined him. I was in a bit of a sour mood because it was difficult for me to do my work with the TV blaring in the background and his computer is a bit slow. Anwyay, I think the news was over by then and we were watching FoodTV. I wondered if we had to get going to make it to the restaurant in time for the reservation he had made (not that the place really needed it). He then said he got me something else. When he came back with the other box, I sorta knew what was coming. EDIT: I forgot he said he got me something else b/c he loves me. So I could not resist but to ask, "So you got me the other thing b/c you don't love me?" Hehehe. He said, no, that was for my birthday. I opened the box and inside the olive box was a red, leather, heart-shaped box with the word "Love" on it. I opened that and inside it was the opened box with the ring. I was speechless. By then the sun was setting so it was hard to see everything. I could tell that it was at least not the yellow gold (which I hate). He then asked me to be "Mrs. Dear" and I said "Of course." When I put it on, I felt my finger throb because I never wear jewelry and I think because it is a tad bit tight (which I think is good because I'd be so afraid that it would slip off unnoticed). Or maybe it was my heart beating with glee! :) So he told me we should go tell his parents. When we did, I didn't say anything (not like he did either) I just showed them my finger. We weren't sure which hand to put it on and his mother was no help. At first she said left, then she said right, then she said to look at other recently engaged people (she says that she wears it on both hands, alternating when she wants). I think I ended up leaving it on my right hand for a while until Sunday. We then went to dinner (it was pretty late by then since it was far and we had to look for a long while for parking). Throughout the past week he had asked me where I'd like to go to celebrate my birthday and I had read a delicious review about a Moroccan (I think it was Moroccan) place in Astoria with the best squid in the City and delectable grilled fish and various tagines. Because of our unfamiliarity with the area (and his incorrect belief that that neighborhood is not safe), he had to plan the proposal to be before the restaurant lest we get mugged or something.

After the dinner, on the way to my house, we had to figure out how to tell my parents. He insisted on asking them for permission even though it was already too late because I had said yes and I rarely listen to them anyway. :P But in any case, we had to wait for my father to come home around midnight and that week my mother was home on vacation (otherwise she'd be at work already). So we waited in his car by the bridge where he proceeded to call his cousins (he had gotten advice from them on diamonds and such; one of them had showed him a cubic zirconia because I had said I wanted a fake one since it's a lot of money to waste on a stupid piece of jewelry that you wear for a short time -- I still sort of believe in this). Lastly, he called his brother and left a message saying that he had a new sister. :D His brother then called him back and congratulated him. By then it was late enough and we went to my house. My mother was about to sleep but I went upstairs and told her that she should go downstairs because he was downstairs. She was reluctant because she had taken her dentures out but I convinced her to put them back in. Throughout this time, I didn't want her to see the ring on my finger and kinda avoided her. So after a brief small talk session, he asked her for permission to marry me. It completely took her by surprise and she didn't know what to say except, "I don't know" (like mother, like daughter). He was then like, "OKaaaayyyy...." After a very awkward silence, I think he asked her again in a different form and she said "Dunno, if she wants to.... Up to her...." And I said yeah, I already said yes and showed her the ring. She said it was very nice. (At one point throughout this I am told that she began to tear up but I didn't notice.) Then my father came home and broke all the awkwardness (thank God!). This time he asked my father for permission and my father said of course. They also briefly discussed my birthday dinner the next night (which was set up maybe 2 days before) where the 2 sets of parents met for the first night. So ended all the awkwardness for that night.

On Sunday, we told a select few ppl at church (one of his friends he just showed my hand to -- I think he recognized how effective it was to use this method). At first we didn't say anything but I think a few ppl saw the new shiny thing on my finger. One person noticed it and didn't say anything to me but whispered to the person next to him. They talked amongst themselves then walked out the room with a bunch of other ppl following them. That's when we told a girl who gave a big reaction, letting the whole room know. At first she didn't get the mouthing of the words and it was kinda comical so we eventually did the hand show. Surprisingly, everyone came over and started asking questions, congratulating us. It's just interesting how word gets around b/c later that afternoon, someone who wasn't there sent us an e-card congratulating us. I was also surprised to get two cards in the mail in the upcoming weeks.

After telling friends throughout the weekend, I wanted to tell my boss first on Monday. Of course he didn't come in and a co-worker in the next cube who often asked about potential wedding plans was on vacation that week. Another co-worker was also out that week. So I didn't say anything (it's not natural for me to share personal things at work), waiting for someone to see it and to break the ice. That didn't happen until Wednesday, I think, when a bunch of us were sitting in a meeting waiting for a new vendor to set up their stuff. My boss had just come back to the office and I didn't want to disturb him since he was catching up with a lot of stuff that morning. Then a person in another department said to me (quite loudly) "Dude, did you get engaged?!" I said yes and after all the gushing (even from the vendors, which was very odd), everyone started to know. After the meeting, my boss came over and asked for specifics and by then that side of the office heard and walked over to hear the story ("it was all very romantic, it happened while watching TV..."). Then later that week, my neighboring co-worker called her friend in the office to make sure things were OK at work and found out about it so she prompted me to go over to her desk and talk to her. She couldn't believe that she missed it. :) Weeks after, my boss still brought it up. Because another co-worker also recently got engaged (back in April), my boss even told this to strangers that we were on conference calls with. One instance, to pass some time while more ppl signed on, he said, Well some good news -- K & R are engaged! And we both had to instantly jump in and say "Not to each other!!" :D

A few ppl emailed me about how it happened and that was pretty much the conversation piece that ppl would bring up with me as small talk for the next few weeks so I got pretty tired of telling the story. I should've put this up sooner! Now that question is replaced with wedding-related questions like "Have you set a date?" (like the ex-co-worker who is also engaged said, Do people really expect you to have picked a date a few days after the engagement, as if the question the guy really asked was 'Will you marry me on April xxx?' instead of the usual 'Will you marry me?') or "Did you find a dress yet?" A few ppl asked how long we've been dating (6 years) and the reaction would either be "Finally!" (for those who've known us for that long) or "Wow, that's a long time!" (as in that's great that you've known each other for so long). Also interesting that when we were at a friend's wedding everyone asked "Taking notes?" It's good to know that so many ppl care to ask. :)


Sam said...

hmm... i think you omitted the part where he said, this gift is for you because I love you... then you said, and the other was b/c you don't? hahahaha or am i making stuffs up?

myBFCW said...

hehe, true true. i forgot (the details are getting fuzzy) i but added it.