I was not thrilled with my hair during the early part of the day when the most pictures were taken (and especially during the ceremony -- the most important part of the day!) but this video makes me feel just a little better....
If the video is real (and it could very well be), I feel terrible for the person but it also epitomizes the one thing I HATED about wedding planning -- you get so crazed (or at least I did) about getting everything perfect and right and nice that you go to extreme lengths to ensure that. Me being the constant worrywart, I would always jump to weird conclusions and worst-case scenarios and stress myself out. Looking back, there were definitely instances where I really wasn't thinking or using common sense (much like the bride in the video). I'm sure I was also a b* more than once (haha, what an understatement!) to more than a few people throughout the process (though I have to say I was pretty good the day of). And that's one of my biggest regrets -- I wish that I wasn't so controlled by the Monster. It's like wedding planning turns you into this zombie (it's all that's on your mind for about a year)-cum-psycho (you go crazy, as I mentioned above). Anyway, I am nearing the end of my wedding blogging (lest I become more crazy) but I will not be silent! I will reveal what new things I've been obsessing over soon.
Showing posts with label post-wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label post-wedding. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Friday, January 12, 2007
Did you know? redux
Some other things I forgot to mention the first time around:
- When making the tags for the favors out of the shrink film, we began by printing it out on Dear's father's inkjet printer. Because the printer was one of those huge sale items from a previous year's Black Friday, the ink died on us after only a few were printed. It was an interesting effect with streaks of orange and yellow and after baking it, the color didn't darken to the same shade of red like I hoped. Thankfully, BM printed out all the rest on her printer without a problem. Woo hoo!
- I spent hours creating an integrated JR monogram but it was used just once, on the website announcement enclosure cards. Even though it was a great idea (in my most humble opinion), I had trouble deciding how to use it with the double happiness symbol. I thought to overlap the JR over the double happiness and to make the JR a bit transparent so that you could tell it's a double happiness underneath but it didn't come out very clear, especially when I shrunk it to a size that wasn't gigantic. I even had a custom stamp made of the JR but couldn't find a good use for it anywhere. :(
- We bought an easel, posterboard, and some map pins thinking that we'd stick the leaf placecards on the boards so that they wouldn't be laying flat on the table (I thought that would take up too much room and there would not be enough space for everything). It turns out that there was plenty of room and that our easel was a little too small for the large pieces of posterboard. Our wonderful ushers probably also had trouble sticking the thin pins into the board. In the end, they laid most of the leaves on the posterboard and they made a good backdrop for the colorful leaves. The easel was completely assembled and the original packaging is nowhere to be found -- now I don't know what to do with that easel!!
- We planned on assembling bathroom baskets for guests (filled with things like mints, lotion, band-aids, tissues, etc.) but we ran out of time and the thought of putting anything down in those bathrooms disgusted me so much that I would have wanted to throw out everything afterwards so I'm glad we didn't waste time and money on this. We did, however, buy some handsoap that never left the house and we are able to use otherwise.
- We also created goody bags for the children (some of Dear's younger relatives seek much attention) to keep them entertained (they can be easily bored). We got some colorful plastic lunchbags from Target, put in some stickers, an activity book, and snacks like Goldfish and Mini M&Ms so that they would not go hungry if the banquet started late. Problem? Dear forgot these at home.
- Dear's second cousin helped us gather thousands of acorns for us to use as decoration in some way. We thought it'd be a centerpiece on the welcome table and even got a tall, footed jar from Target's clearance section to hold all of them but Dear forgot to bring the entire thing. We had also wanted to put a pillar candle on top but never got around to buying one that was big enough. More wasted effort: the first gathering was put in Ziploc bags, which trapped all the moisture and made the acorns moldy. I thought we could still use them by just washing them in water with some bleach. After much intensive labor bent over these acorns, scrubbing each individual one and then laying out each one to dry on newspaper, I sorted whole ones vs. separated tops and bottoms, then packed everything up into the non-airtight Chinese takeout containers. Come September, half of the containers molded again and I just threw those out. The good thing was that we still had enough to fill up the huge jar and we can perhaps use that to decorate our apartment in some way. But lesson learned -- if you want to use acorns as a decorative element (good for fall theme, plus it's free!), just store them loosely in something breathable, like a cardboard shoebox or an open plastic bag.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
A rose by any other name...
For those who haven't figured out yet, I haven't changed my last name. And why should I be the only one to fill out numerous extra documents (and I mean numerous -- entire books have been written about this subject and many name-change kits have been marketed), get used to signing a new name, correct everyone who knows that I recently got married whether or not I've changed my name (I made a cursory reference to this in an earlier post)? And why do I even have to make this decision in the first place?! The husband just has to plop down on the proverbial couch after the wedding and not even consider how to be identified after this life-changing event.
And for me, while I've never exactly been thrilled about my last name (rhymes with too many unflattering words), I'm not psyched about people mispronouncing Dear's last name because I would just be too tempted to correct them and eventually get too frustrated because it is not exactly easy for non-Chinese people to pronounce. It would be one thing if there weren't many other Asian names that sounded very similar but instead everyone thinks it's really "Choy" or "Choo" (completely different surnames) when it's not!
Side rant: why do people assume that I've changed my name already? People have already addressed us as Mr. and Mrs. C___. Now, I'm not exactly a feminist (just extremely lazy to do more paperwork than I have to) and I probably will change my name eventually (if not legally, at least use Dear's name in social settings) but I also don't appreciate people making assumptions. Let me enjoy my birthname at least for a little while more -- I'll use my "new name" when I'm ready.
On the flip side, it is just a little bit thrilling to be able to have double identities. And if you think about it, it's so easy to pass yourself off as someone else.
What else is in a name? Ever since the wedding I have no idea what to call the out-laws. It got so uncomfortable that at one point I just straight out asked what they wanted to be called. My passive-aggressive MIL couldn't commit to a name but did express her disdain for the one thing I would not have a problem calling her -- the Chinese MIL title of "nai-nai" (or whatever it is, I don't really know Cantonese). I refuse to call anyone but the woman who bore me for 9 months and then raised me for 20+ years "mom" or "mother" (which is what I think my MIL wants me to do). (Oddly enough my mother, in her traditional mindset urged me to call my MIL something closer to "mother" -- I hope my one and only mother understands that my impetuousness in bucking tradition, especially throughout the wedding, was not just to be difficult but because I believe that the traditional is not always better.) And I'm sure my MIL would be super-insulted if I called her by her first name as many non-Asians have suggested to me. So she gave up her chance and now I just refer to her without ever really calling her anything (just turn to face her when I'm speaking to her). But at least there is some comedic relief:
And for me, while I've never exactly been thrilled about my last name (rhymes with too many unflattering words), I'm not psyched about people mispronouncing Dear's last name because I would just be too tempted to correct them and eventually get too frustrated because it is not exactly easy for non-Chinese people to pronounce. It would be one thing if there weren't many other Asian names that sounded very similar but instead everyone thinks it's really "Choy" or "Choo" (completely different surnames) when it's not!
Side rant: why do people assume that I've changed my name already? People have already addressed us as Mr. and Mrs. C___. Now, I'm not exactly a feminist (just extremely lazy to do more paperwork than I have to) and I probably will change my name eventually (if not legally, at least use Dear's name in social settings) but I also don't appreciate people making assumptions. Let me enjoy my birthname at least for a little while more -- I'll use my "new name" when I'm ready.
On the flip side, it is just a little bit thrilling to be able to have double identities. And if you think about it, it's so easy to pass yourself off as someone else.
What else is in a name? Ever since the wedding I have no idea what to call the out-laws. It got so uncomfortable that at one point I just straight out asked what they wanted to be called. My passive-aggressive MIL couldn't commit to a name but did express her disdain for the one thing I would not have a problem calling her -- the Chinese MIL title of "nai-nai" (or whatever it is, I don't really know Cantonese). I refuse to call anyone but the woman who bore me for 9 months and then raised me for 20+ years "mom" or "mother" (which is what I think my MIL wants me to do). (Oddly enough my mother, in her traditional mindset urged me to call my MIL something closer to "mother" -- I hope my one and only mother understands that my impetuousness in bucking tradition, especially throughout the wedding, was not just to be difficult but because I believe that the traditional is not always better.) And I'm sure my MIL would be super-insulted if I called her by her first name as many non-Asians have suggested to me. So she gave up her chance and now I just refer to her without ever really calling her anything (just turn to face her when I'm speaking to her). But at least there is some comedic relief:
MIL (when calling me on the phone): Hello? This is [she begins to give her first name before she realizes that I shouldn't call her by her first name]... uh wife of [then she realizes I shouldn't call my FIL by his first name]... uh, I mean, J__'s mother....
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
Photographer
We finally got our proofs from the photographer! After looking through the 2 huge albums (collectively, they weigh as much as 4 phonebooks, if those things still exist in this day and age), I didn't feel so bad forking over the rest of his money (all cash again, though this time all those bills no longer fazed me), plus the rest of his tip. All that is to say that I was impressed by his work! I especially liked the really interesting poses that he set up for us with the bridal party and the candid shots of the table toasts (no staid table portraits). On the day of, we were a bit grumpy about all the poses that we had to do and I feel a bit guilty for being such a grouch (I wonder if the pics would have come out even better if we really got into it?). I also thought that he forgot about my directive for no posed portraits, but he didn't, except for the part with the families, which I now realize are a necessary evil -- the parentals are most interested in that part. In the days after the wedding, I kept second-guessing our choice of photographer, wondering if we should have gone with the non-Chinese person who had more photojournalistic stuff in her repertoire. But I now see that if we only had candid group shots of the families, there would have been much screaming and hollering (there still may be, since my parents haven't seen anything yet).
Not that we escaped completely unscathed. The out-laws have gone berserk with the flagging!!! We gave them one set of those plastic Post-It flags/tabs to mark the pictures that they want. I'm not sure whether they want all those in their album or if they want copies of those particular pictures, but in any case, they must have tabbed over 100+ pictures. It seems like every other picture is marked. They even had to come back and ask for more tabs!!! I think MIL stayed home the next day, skipping out on her class, just to go through the pictures in more detail. And I'll spare everyone the rant of their issues trying to view the DVD of pics that Dear's cousin so kindly created.
Anyway, in the end, I am quite satisfied with our photographer. We haven't decided whether or not to go through him for our album (I was thinking of making the parents' albums through ImageStation or something), but if his proof albums are any indication, I think it would be beautiful. The only downside is that we won't get the digital 'negatives' until a year later so we almost have to order extra prints and stuff through him.
A last thought: Looking through the photos also gave me a different perspective on the wedding. It was interesting to see Dear and his GM getting ready and especially to see all the hard work that people put into it, helping us. I am so so so grateful for our supporting cast!
PHOTOGRAPHY by HENRY LEUNG: A
Our photographer also has a LOT of experience with weddings. He was recommended and used by two other couples that we know and I hope the friend that I told about him will be happy with him too. But aside from people that we know that have used him, I think he's been in the business for over 15 years. What I really like about him is that he's honest (a quality you don't find in Chinese photographers). Oh also, his assistant was very helpful with retouching makeup. She didn't bring a kit so she just worked with what my BM brought along (no brushes, even) but it came out great (maybe even better than what my makeup artist did?). I have no idea what her name is (I suppose I could ask) and I'm not sure if he uses the same person all the time, but she barely speaks English (mostly Mandarin, I think) and is supposedly a professional makeup artist. If I had known about her skills, I would have just used her all day long.
Not that we escaped completely unscathed. The out-laws have gone berserk with the flagging!!! We gave them one set of those plastic Post-It flags/tabs to mark the pictures that they want. I'm not sure whether they want all those in their album or if they want copies of those particular pictures, but in any case, they must have tabbed over 100+ pictures. It seems like every other picture is marked. They even had to come back and ask for more tabs!!! I think MIL stayed home the next day, skipping out on her class, just to go through the pictures in more detail. And I'll spare everyone the rant of their issues trying to view the DVD of pics that Dear's cousin so kindly created.
Anyway, in the end, I am quite satisfied with our photographer. We haven't decided whether or not to go through him for our album (I was thinking of making the parents' albums through ImageStation or something), but if his proof albums are any indication, I think it would be beautiful. The only downside is that we won't get the digital 'negatives' until a year later so we almost have to order extra prints and stuff through him.
A last thought: Looking through the photos also gave me a different perspective on the wedding. It was interesting to see Dear and his GM getting ready and especially to see all the hard work that people put into it, helping us. I am so so so grateful for our supporting cast!
PHOTOGRAPHY by HENRY LEUNG: A
Our photographer also has a LOT of experience with weddings. He was recommended and used by two other couples that we know and I hope the friend that I told about him will be happy with him too. But aside from people that we know that have used him, I think he's been in the business for over 15 years. What I really like about him is that he's honest (a quality you don't find in Chinese photographers). Oh also, his assistant was very helpful with retouching makeup. She didn't bring a kit so she just worked with what my BM brought along (no brushes, even) but it came out great (maybe even better than what my makeup artist did?). I have no idea what her name is (I suppose I could ask) and I'm not sure if he uses the same person all the time, but she barely speaks English (mostly Mandarin, I think) and is supposedly a professional makeup artist. If I had known about her skills, I would have just used her all day long.
Monday, November 20, 2006
Gifts
A few days ago (if not weeks ago), I looked through our cards again b/c someone mentioned that her check hadn't been cashed yet. And lo and behold, I DID have a brain fart the first time around and I saw that I had left 3 gifts with their cards. I have no idea why but it was good to retrieve these gifts! (And maybe one of these days we'll sit down and actually write thank you notes. :P) It was also nice to look through the cards again b/c when we were opening it, there were so many to go through and I was so busy tracking who gave what that I barely remembered any of the cards nor the sentiments expressed in them. But this time around I noticed some really nice ones with 3-D stuff like ribbons and pearls or cut-outs and pop-ups (I think a lot of them were from Target) and it almost makes me want to make wedding cards for ppl. I also noticed one person removed the seal from our invite and used that to close his envelope, like so:
I'm not sure how I feel about that (desecration! but it's recycling too....)
Anyway, this also made me think about gifts in general. For one thing, some gifts were really surprising (in both good and bad ways). Some ppl were really really generous (thanks!!) and I'll save my rant about the ppl who gave $25 or nothing at all, but WHY do ppl leave price tags on their gifts?! One gift was especially precious: a set of jewelry with the price tag on the bottom (an inflated price I'm sure b/c it reeks of a sale item) and written on the TOP of the box in thick purple marker (so that I can't possibly re-gift it!) is a note to just ME, like Dear doesn't deserve a gift at all, yet the card was addressed to the both of us, not that he could really use a pearl necklace or bracelet.
Well to be somewhat productive instead of ranting all the time, we are trying to figure out who gave us this (no card inside the unmarked bag):
Please let me know so that we can mercilessly mock you, ahem, I mean write a proper thank-you note. No, really, we appreciate this. It has grown on me and I think it's kinda kitschy cute. We could always use olive oil and balsamic vinegar, plus it is pretty good! So lemme know if this is you -- I really want to be able to write a real thank you!
I'm not sure how I feel about that (desecration! but it's recycling too....)
Anyway, this also made me think about gifts in general. For one thing, some gifts were really surprising (in both good and bad ways). Some ppl were really really generous (thanks!!) and I'll save my rant about the ppl who gave $25 or nothing at all, but WHY do ppl leave price tags on their gifts?! One gift was especially precious: a set of jewelry with the price tag on the bottom (an inflated price I'm sure b/c it reeks of a sale item) and written on the TOP of the box in thick purple marker (so that I can't possibly re-gift it!) is a note to just ME, like Dear doesn't deserve a gift at all, yet the card was addressed to the both of us, not that he could really use a pearl necklace or bracelet.
Well to be somewhat productive instead of ranting all the time, we are trying to figure out who gave us this (no card inside the unmarked bag):
Please let me know so that we can mercilessly mock you, ahem, I mean write a proper thank-you note. No, really, we appreciate this. It has grown on me and I think it's kinda kitschy cute. We could always use olive oil and balsamic vinegar, plus it is pretty good! So lemme know if this is you -- I really want to be able to write a real thank you!
Friday, November 10, 2006
No thank you!
I thought the arguments about the wedding would be over... but the consequences of the guests live on! So for those unaware of the Chinese tradition of old folk giving gifts to the parents, that's what happens. It is just a side benefit that their kids happen to have gotten married -- they get all these gifts as if they had a great big, old birthday party for themselves. While I am extremely grateful for being raised by such great parents, and the out-laws have been quite generous, I am/was a little miffed that I put in all this effort so that my parents could reap loads of cash. But I've gotten over that. Yesterday, a HUGE argument ensued with the out-laws b/c they are too DAMN lazy to write their own thank you cards.
I was beginning to sort out the cards that I had begun to write when they walk over and ask if they can some cards. After some vague comments, I counted out 30 of them so that they could get started writing theirs. Imagine their shock when she looked inside the card and it was BLANK! It wasn't enough that there was a simple "Thank you" printed in fancy lettering on the front, she wanted words on the inside as if she expected us to write notes to people we don't know thanking them for gifts we didn't receive. I can see writing a note to someone thanking them for coming, but there is no way I will write a note thanking someone for someone else's gift. Can I write this: "Thank you for coming. It was great seeing unfamiliar faces on our very special day. We're glad you were able to bring your uninvited child to the wedding and we're just ecstatic that you gave our parents a generous gift. It will be come in very handy for their upcoming retirement party or when they go crazy buying tchotkes at the garden center."
There was screaming and much offense. I kept hearing "But it's YOUR wedding!" when we'd say something like they were YOUR guests (never mind that we don't know their names or that they may not even be able to read English, the only language we can comfortably write). They thought we were selfish bastards for not wanting to thank people who didn't give us a gift (which may be true, I am a selfish bastard after all, but I find it odd to send someone 2 different thank you notes -- one from us thanking them for coming, and one from the gift-recipient thanking them for the gift and thanking them for coming. Why not just send one?!). They were very disheartened that they had to hear this. So they propositioned us to take a survey of everyone we know that has gotten married to see who writes the thank you note. So here's my survey. What's been your experience? (For the record, my co-workers all find this strange that the parents even get a gift, and hence, because the newlyweds got the gift in those cases, they wrote the thank yous.)
Oh and the sorta-solution will be for us to print a very generic "Thank you for celebrating our special day with us" on their cards and perhaps they will add a line or two and sign it. So if you receive a hand-written card from one of us, know you are special. But if you receive a pre-printed card with a generic message, know that the out-laws think you're (kinda) special.
I was beginning to sort out the cards that I had begun to write when they walk over and ask if they can some cards. After some vague comments, I counted out 30 of them so that they could get started writing theirs. Imagine their shock when she looked inside the card and it was BLANK! It wasn't enough that there was a simple "Thank you" printed in fancy lettering on the front, she wanted words on the inside as if she expected us to write notes to people we don't know thanking them for gifts we didn't receive. I can see writing a note to someone thanking them for coming, but there is no way I will write a note thanking someone for someone else's gift. Can I write this: "Thank you for coming. It was great seeing unfamiliar faces on our very special day. We're glad you were able to bring your uninvited child to the wedding and we're just ecstatic that you gave our parents a generous gift. It will be come in very handy for their upcoming retirement party or when they go crazy buying tchotkes at the garden center."
There was screaming and much offense. I kept hearing "But it's YOUR wedding!" when we'd say something like they were YOUR guests (never mind that we don't know their names or that they may not even be able to read English, the only language we can comfortably write). They thought we were selfish bastards for not wanting to thank people who didn't give us a gift (which may be true, I am a selfish bastard after all, but I find it odd to send someone 2 different thank you notes -- one from us thanking them for coming, and one from the gift-recipient thanking them for the gift and thanking them for coming. Why not just send one?!). They were very disheartened that they had to hear this. So they propositioned us to take a survey of everyone we know that has gotten married to see who writes the thank you note. So here's my survey. What's been your experience? (For the record, my co-workers all find this strange that the parents even get a gift, and hence, because the newlyweds got the gift in those cases, they wrote the thank yous.)
Oh and the sorta-solution will be for us to print a very generic "Thank you for celebrating our special day with us" on their cards and perhaps they will add a line or two and sign it. So if you receive a hand-written card from one of us, know you are special. But if you receive a pre-printed card with a generic message, know that the out-laws think you're (kinda) special.
Thursday, November 2, 2006
Missing
As a newlywed, I never thought that I'd really be starting a 'new life.' But that's totally what happens. And with that 'new life' there are some things (OK ppl) that I miss.
The other day (just a few days after the wedding) the BM that used to be my neighbor told me how she was taking the subway home and she thought to herself how she may run into me at the bus stop. Then she realized that that wouldn't happen b/c I no longer live there. As she told me her thought process, I got a little verklempt. We now live miles apart and there won't be any more of those chance encounters -- we'll actually have to make appointments (ack! plan?!) to see each other. :(
I actually miss my parents. As crazy as they drove me during the wedding planning, I miss their presence. I'm getting a little teary-eyed as I write this. I regret not having better communication with them before because now it is awkward for me to express emotion in front of them. :P I wonder what it is like for them to come home and see my empty room, knowing I won't sleep there that night.
I also miss my weird, amusingly irreverent brother (I also want to be able to keep an eye on him). :) There were times I found his blasting music annoying, but as the years went by, his taste mellowed out and some stuff were actually quite decent. It was a great compliment to have him say that the music I chose for the wedding banquet was pretty good (though I have gripes about that -- my review yet to come, I know). But does the fool (an affectionate term between us) know that I was able to narrow down a lot of choices by sifting through his massive collection of mp3s (a suitcase full of burned CDs and DVDs)? I've always looked up to him for his opinion on computers and other gadgets. I'll miss how we can say just one word or phrase that only means something ridiculously funny to the both of us and that'll keep us amused for at least 5 minutes (like "walnut meats"). There's more to say about the nugget but so hard to sum up (with less than a year difference between us, we've grown up together practically as twins). I wonder if we'll ever really see each other now, especially with his busyness on the weekends. I just hope he'll be able to find someone who can bring out his good qualities (believe it or not, there are some :P And no, I'm not trying to pimp him out).
Despite all that is missing, there's a lot of good stuff happening too. With the move to Queens, I live closer to a lot of friends too. It's easier to see these groups of people and be able to hang out with them without having to worry about getting home hours later. Now if only we could (afford to) live in Manhattan and be able to bridge the two worlds (or would that just alienate us from both groups?).
NOTE: It's taken me a while to complete this entry (I started it last week) because I have had to pause every so often to prevent the puffy eyes (how sappy am I?!).
The other day (just a few days after the wedding) the BM that used to be my neighbor told me how she was taking the subway home and she thought to herself how she may run into me at the bus stop. Then she realized that that wouldn't happen b/c I no longer live there. As she told me her thought process, I got a little verklempt. We now live miles apart and there won't be any more of those chance encounters -- we'll actually have to make appointments (ack! plan?!) to see each other. :(
I actually miss my parents. As crazy as they drove me during the wedding planning, I miss their presence. I'm getting a little teary-eyed as I write this. I regret not having better communication with them before because now it is awkward for me to express emotion in front of them. :P I wonder what it is like for them to come home and see my empty room, knowing I won't sleep there that night.
I also miss my weird, amusingly irreverent brother (I also want to be able to keep an eye on him). :) There were times I found his blasting music annoying, but as the years went by, his taste mellowed out and some stuff were actually quite decent. It was a great compliment to have him say that the music I chose for the wedding banquet was pretty good (though I have gripes about that -- my review yet to come, I know). But does the fool (an affectionate term between us) know that I was able to narrow down a lot of choices by sifting through his massive collection of mp3s (a suitcase full of burned CDs and DVDs)? I've always looked up to him for his opinion on computers and other gadgets. I'll miss how we can say just one word or phrase that only means something ridiculously funny to the both of us and that'll keep us amused for at least 5 minutes (like "walnut meats"). There's more to say about the nugget but so hard to sum up (with less than a year difference between us, we've grown up together practically as twins). I wonder if we'll ever really see each other now, especially with his busyness on the weekends. I just hope he'll be able to find someone who can bring out his good qualities (believe it or not, there are some :P And no, I'm not trying to pimp him out).
Despite all that is missing, there's a lot of good stuff happening too. With the move to Queens, I live closer to a lot of friends too. It's easier to see these groups of people and be able to hang out with them without having to worry about getting home hours later. Now if only we could (afford to) live in Manhattan and be able to bridge the two worlds (or would that just alienate us from both groups?).
NOTE: It's taken me a while to complete this entry (I started it last week) because I have had to pause every so often to prevent the puffy eyes (how sappy am I?!).
Monday, October 30, 2006
How it all came down: the afternoon
As I mentioned in a previous post, we got a 1960s checker cab instead of the usual limo option. Despite my mother and aunt's protestations about not having an "appropriate" method of transportation and the extra finagling for rides, I loved this part of the wedding and didn't regret it at all. It was a great conversation piece (some of our friends still talk about it to this day) and it made a wonderful prop for photos (even for other ppl getting married that day who stopped by to snap a photo, the driver told us). I think the cab, quintessentially New York, was also cool enough to stand alone and not need any of the excess decorations that ppl sometimes put on limos, just a simple "Just Married" written on the back window by the driver after the ceremony. The cab is also roomy (though not roomy enough for all the bridal party + photographer & his assistant so FIL ended up getting some van to drive them b/c BIL didn't want to drive) and a head-turner. Along the way, ppl honked or waved, with a huge smile on their face (I'd like to think they were honking for me, but I think it was really for the cab). And for a few moments on one day in my life, I savored the attention (but once I was out of the cab, it was a different story).
Because the cab was a few minutes late (which he apologized profusely for and also offered to stay a little later at the end to make up for it), waiting for it to bring us to the church was tense, since the alloted time to get to the church was already tight on the schedule. It did, however, give me a chance to call Dear (who arrived at the church hours earlier), which was nice, without ruining the seeing the bride beforehand thing. The cab's driver (totally forgot his name already), was really nice, though a bit inexperienced about driving downtown, in my opinion. There was crazy traffic that afternoon and it took us more than half an hour to get where we needed to go (it should take only 10 minutes) and he took a wrong turn on Centre Street and ended up making a U-turn. Of course he apologized profusely for this and I don't hold this against him in any way but I am just relaying events as they happened. And so that you don't think I'm just hypercritical, I'll add he was nice enough to go out of the car and get me a drink from the trunk during a red light. Other than the lateness, everything with the cab was wonderful. All this for $400 for 4 hours (includes tip already) -- not bad, if I do say so myself. (The one limo company we contacted b/c of my mother's concerns quoted $450 for the same amount of time and he was already very busy for our day, and could only *try* to squeeze us in.) Anyway, if you want to make a unique statement (there are other cars available besides checker cabs), the owner of Film Cars is super nice (but was unfortunately busy on that Saturday for some movie shoot -- who would put Denzel Washington ahead of me?!) and I highly recommend them.
TRANSPORTATION through FILM CARS: A
Running late into the church
Throughout the day, everything felt very surreal, like I wasn't there and I was watching this person do everything. It didn't sink in until much later, like towards the end of the banquet. So I barely remember anything about the ceremony and things just magically happened thanks to our hard-working helpers -- my bouquet was brought to me, everyone got the right flowers, the guests were seated without any major problems. I just remember thinking to myself that I didn't want to be late and to keep everyone waiting (but I was -- sorry!), then everyone walked down the aisle like they should have (still waiting on pics of that) and when it was my turn it felt very weird to have all eyes on me. It was nice to catch glimpses of ppl I recognized (the sight of some ppl actually made me smile) and see them beaming at me, almost like I was a queen for a day.
I remember chastising my father for stepping on my dress (he kept doing it, which made it difficult for me to walk, with all the stop and go) and then the three of us (I wanted both my parents to walk me down the aisle) stood at the front until the reverend gave them the sign to kiss me and sit down. People tell me that my parents had trouble reaching me (since they are shorter and I was wearing 3" heels) and that it seemed like they didn't want to let me go (there was a long pause when they were supposed to sit down but they didn't, even though the minister motioned for them to -- I think they forgot what they were supposed to do, or never really understood).
Then before I knew it, the readers did their thing (and more, much to my dismay -- one of them decided to add his own little speech); we listened to the trio playing "Ode to Joy" (I have no idea who came up with that song, b/c I don't think I requested it, but I didn't mind it); rings were exchanged (repeating the vows were weird too, like taking on a huge responsibility); and we walked back down the aisle as husband and wife. There was then the receiving line (bizarre, but nice to see so many ppl, even ppl I haven't seen in 20 years or so) and I was so parched I don't know how I was able to smile and chat with so many ppl.
Part of the bridal party on the other side of the receiving line (best pic I have of them -- too bad it's fuzzy in some places)
The petal toss felt really short and then we returned inside and were tortured with a portrait session that someone set up without my permission (I didn't really want to do this, especially not at the church, with daylight burning). What pissed me off the most was that the order was totally biased towards Dear's family (all his extended family, and I think even church groups, took pictures before my family got the chance to). I think they even called up our co-workers (none of whom went up b/c it's not really appropriate) and ended the session (someone said, "OK, that's it!") before Dear reminded them that my family hadn't gone up yet. But my inner bridezilla didn't rear her ugly head and it ended soon enough and we were whisked away to Brooklyn Bridge Park in DUMBO to take some pics with just the bridal party.
the paparazzi
Peeking out to say hello to the fans
It was a gorgeous day to take pictures outside and it was kinda fun to do so (I spotted 4 other groups taking pictures at the park too). After a while though, it did get tiring. At least Dear and I were able to amuse ourselves with the photographer's constant demands for kisses (some poses were really silly) and that forced at least one of us to smile. :) One thing I noticed though is that my eyes are always closed! Good thing the photographer was able to see this on his digital camera and could make us re-take the shot. Because of the photo session at church, we didn't have time to go on the Staten Island Ferry (especially sad for Dear since he loves the water) and we just stayed in DUMBO, which wasn't too shabby either.
Because the cab was a few minutes late (which he apologized profusely for and also offered to stay a little later at the end to make up for it), waiting for it to bring us to the church was tense, since the alloted time to get to the church was already tight on the schedule. It did, however, give me a chance to call Dear (who arrived at the church hours earlier), which was nice, without ruining the seeing the bride beforehand thing. The cab's driver (totally forgot his name already), was really nice, though a bit inexperienced about driving downtown, in my opinion. There was crazy traffic that afternoon and it took us more than half an hour to get where we needed to go (it should take only 10 minutes) and he took a wrong turn on Centre Street and ended up making a U-turn. Of course he apologized profusely for this and I don't hold this against him in any way but I am just relaying events as they happened. And so that you don't think I'm just hypercritical, I'll add he was nice enough to go out of the car and get me a drink from the trunk during a red light. Other than the lateness, everything with the cab was wonderful. All this for $400 for 4 hours (includes tip already) -- not bad, if I do say so myself. (The one limo company we contacted b/c of my mother's concerns quoted $450 for the same amount of time and he was already very busy for our day, and could only *try* to squeeze us in.) Anyway, if you want to make a unique statement (there are other cars available besides checker cabs), the owner of Film Cars is super nice (but was unfortunately busy on that Saturday for some movie shoot -- who would put Denzel Washington ahead of me?!) and I highly recommend them.TRANSPORTATION through FILM CARS: A
Running late into the churchThroughout the day, everything felt very surreal, like I wasn't there and I was watching this person do everything. It didn't sink in until much later, like towards the end of the banquet. So I barely remember anything about the ceremony and things just magically happened thanks to our hard-working helpers -- my bouquet was brought to me, everyone got the right flowers, the guests were seated without any major problems. I just remember thinking to myself that I didn't want to be late and to keep everyone waiting (but I was -- sorry!), then everyone walked down the aisle like they should have (still waiting on pics of that) and when it was my turn it felt very weird to have all eyes on me. It was nice to catch glimpses of ppl I recognized (the sight of some ppl actually made me smile) and see them beaming at me, almost like I was a queen for a day.
I remember chastising my father for stepping on my dress (he kept doing it, which made it difficult for me to walk, with all the stop and go) and then the three of us (I wanted both my parents to walk me down the aisle) stood at the front until the reverend gave them the sign to kiss me and sit down. People tell me that my parents had trouble reaching me (since they are shorter and I was wearing 3" heels) and that it seemed like they didn't want to let me go (there was a long pause when they were supposed to sit down but they didn't, even though the minister motioned for them to -- I think they forgot what they were supposed to do, or never really understood).
Then before I knew it, the readers did their thing (and more, much to my dismay -- one of them decided to add his own little speech); we listened to the trio playing "Ode to Joy" (I have no idea who came up with that song, b/c I don't think I requested it, but I didn't mind it); rings were exchanged (repeating the vows were weird too, like taking on a huge responsibility); and we walked back down the aisle as husband and wife. There was then the receiving line (bizarre, but nice to see so many ppl, even ppl I haven't seen in 20 years or so) and I was so parched I don't know how I was able to smile and chat with so many ppl.
Part of the bridal party on the other side of the receiving line (best pic I have of them -- too bad it's fuzzy in some places)
The petal toss felt really short and then we returned inside and were tortured with a portrait session that someone set up without my permission (I didn't really want to do this, especially not at the church, with daylight burning). What pissed me off the most was that the order was totally biased towards Dear's family (all his extended family, and I think even church groups, took pictures before my family got the chance to). I think they even called up our co-workers (none of whom went up b/c it's not really appropriate) and ended the session (someone said, "OK, that's it!") before Dear reminded them that my family hadn't gone up yet. But my inner bridezilla didn't rear her ugly head and it ended soon enough and we were whisked away to Brooklyn Bridge Park in DUMBO to take some pics with just the bridal party.
the paparazzi
Peeking out to say hello to the fans
It was a gorgeous day to take pictures outside and it was kinda fun to do so (I spotted 4 other groups taking pictures at the park too). After a while though, it did get tiring. At least Dear and I were able to amuse ourselves with the photographer's constant demands for kisses (some poses were really silly) and that forced at least one of us to smile. :) One thing I noticed though is that my eyes are always closed! Good thing the photographer was able to see this on his digital camera and could make us re-take the shot. Because of the photo session at church, we didn't have time to go on the Staten Island Ferry (especially sad for Dear since he loves the water) and we just stayed in DUMBO, which wasn't too shabby either.
Thursday, October 26, 2006
How it all came down: the morning of
We woke up relatively early (definitely not as early as the day before) to get our hair done in Ctown. Of course, before that we gorged ourselves on the breakfast downstairs in the hotel then we were on our way. I think we were pretty close to the schedule that BM wrote out the night before and we got to Ctown before the salons were even open. It was eerie to see a place that's usually bustling be so quiet. But even though it was quiet, my cousin still had some trouble finding parking. Anyway, my 3 BMs and I went to Amy's Salon on Pell Street while my mother went to her usual hair dresser (she got a perm weeks earlier but got her hair blown out for the day). Amy was late but 2 other hairdressers were already there when we arrived a little after 9. They started working immediately while I waited for Amy. The BMs had decided to all do their hair with curls, half up, half down. I'm not sure how they exactly felt about the end result (I think they turned out really preeety though), but I don't think they were exactly fond of the hairdressers.
As for me, I was OK with my hair and not so crazy about the ethics of the hairdresser (more on that later). From the back, I really liked how my hair turned out. Unfortunately, she also left out these stray tendrils, like vines in a pumpkin patch on the side of my head that I didn't care for. When she curled them, it didn't look so bad, but I kept thinking to myself that I'd pin those up once I got the chance. But I never did until way after, at the banquet. In the meantime, the hair kept getting flatter and flatter so that in some pics I look like a Chinese gangsta b* from the 80s gone wild, with 2 tails (OK, more like I had these weird stray hairs that looked quite messy, which is a shame b/c otherwise the pic would be perfect). I also liked how she did the front of my hair (she created a bump in the front to help elongate my wide face) but with the addition of the headpiece, it got flattened out a bit. The veil did not help either (which I put on in the hotel, in a rush, without supervision). Anyway, the headpiece was positioned in such a way so as to be easily removable for the dress change, plus she showed me (more like BM) how to put the flowers in that we brought over for the second dress, which I appreciated. Overall, I thought going to the salon was a good deal when compared to the many other non-Chinese hairdressers that I spoke with (which ranged from $100 for just hair to $400 for both hair & makeup). However, if you were to compare to other places in Ctown, the prices at Amy's are just average (they'd be considered cheaper if she didn't play her tricks on me).
Wow, I have natural highlights!
how to add the flowers later (sans headpiece)
I won't go into the crazy details about pricing but just know that I think the usual price for a bride's hair is $35 while the price for the BMs should be $25. She ended up charging me $35 for my hair and $30 for the BMs' hair. Though it is somewhat par for the course with a Chinese business -- I feel like they are always scamming -- it's still not cool. And she tried to scam me even more by giving me back $10 less in change, which became her tip (but would have been much less if I had my druthers). Prior to this, I loved the haircut that she gave me but b/c of her disgusting behavior, once again, I'll have to find a new person to cut my hair (and I do need one now that I don't have to grow out my hair!!). :(
AMY'S SALON: B for hair, F for ethics
looks OK in the hotel, I guess
After this, one BM, my mother, and I hailed a cab and headed back to the hotel. We were only slightly late to meet my makeup artist, Alaine, who had already set everything up in the hotel room. The other 2 BMs stayed behind to finish up their hair and then went to a friend's place to get ready.
I met Alaine one day when the new Sephora opened up by where I work. That day I was sorta thinking about buying stuff to do my own makeup for the wedding, but also keeping an eye out for potential makeup artists. I think a part of me wanted to get an Asian artist b/c our features and skin are different, so I befriended Alaine (I liked the makeup that she had put on herself) immediately after she was done helping someone else. Lo and behold, I found out she was indeed a makeup artist (not just a salesperson) and I asked her to send me a portfolio. I could tell she was just starting out with weddings (her entire portfolio was just models and actors) so her prices were affordable, at just $50 for the bride and $40 for all others (that includes travel to wherever you are). Those unused to the world of wedding markup might not think this is such a great deal, but I've been quoted anywhere from $75 to $200 (also the $400 quote for hair & makeup that I mentioned above), and that's not including travel expenses. Unfortunately, I believe her prices have gone up, so if you're interested, you'll have to contact her directly at alaine83 at gmail.com. Anyway, after I found Alaine, I did some other research (I am so indecisive that even after I make a decision, I reconsider it again and again) and I thought her work comparable to even the $200 makeup artist from Bobbi Brown that lots of ppl have raved about on their blogs.
Alaine's makeup kit
MAKEUP by ALAINE: A
I enjoyed working with Alaine -- she is friendly and easy to get along with. Even after the wedding, we have kept in touch (we sorta bonded after I learned that she spent some time in Indonesia and that I went to college with her cousin). Most importantly, I like the work that she does, especially with the eyes (I think she made mine look bigger!). She gives a very natural, not overly done look (but just enough of a little something so that you know this is makeup for a special day) which is exactly what I wanted since I never wear makeup. It was pretty comfortable too -- I barely remembered I had on makeup. I just wish that I had asked her to stay for touch-ups b/c it did wear away a little as the day went on. I also wish that I had my makeup done before the BM b/c she sorta had to rush for mine (and there wasn't enough time to add false lashes). :(
You can sorta see the makeup in these pics:
And because I got tired of smiling (I don't do it often, so give me credit!), I look like I'm grimacing here, so I shrunk this photo and then edited out my mouth below so that you can still sorta see Alaine's work.
As for me, I was OK with my hair and not so crazy about the ethics of the hairdresser (more on that later). From the back, I really liked how my hair turned out. Unfortunately, she also left out these stray tendrils, like vines in a pumpkin patch on the side of my head that I didn't care for. When she curled them, it didn't look so bad, but I kept thinking to myself that I'd pin those up once I got the chance. But I never did until way after, at the banquet. In the meantime, the hair kept getting flatter and flatter so that in some pics I look like a Chinese gangsta b* from the 80s gone wild, with 2 tails (OK, more like I had these weird stray hairs that looked quite messy, which is a shame b/c otherwise the pic would be perfect). I also liked how she did the front of my hair (she created a bump in the front to help elongate my wide face) but with the addition of the headpiece, it got flattened out a bit. The veil did not help either (which I put on in the hotel, in a rush, without supervision). Anyway, the headpiece was positioned in such a way so as to be easily removable for the dress change, plus she showed me (more like BM) how to put the flowers in that we brought over for the second dress, which I appreciated. Overall, I thought going to the salon was a good deal when compared to the many other non-Chinese hairdressers that I spoke with (which ranged from $100 for just hair to $400 for both hair & makeup). However, if you were to compare to other places in Ctown, the prices at Amy's are just average (they'd be considered cheaper if she didn't play her tricks on me).
Wow, I have natural highlights!
how to add the flowers later (sans headpiece)I won't go into the crazy details about pricing but just know that I think the usual price for a bride's hair is $35 while the price for the BMs should be $25. She ended up charging me $35 for my hair and $30 for the BMs' hair. Though it is somewhat par for the course with a Chinese business -- I feel like they are always scamming -- it's still not cool. And she tried to scam me even more by giving me back $10 less in change, which became her tip (but would have been much less if I had my druthers). Prior to this, I loved the haircut that she gave me but b/c of her disgusting behavior, once again, I'll have to find a new person to cut my hair (and I do need one now that I don't have to grow out my hair!!). :(
AMY'S SALON: B for hair, F for ethics
looks OK in the hotel, I guessAfter this, one BM, my mother, and I hailed a cab and headed back to the hotel. We were only slightly late to meet my makeup artist, Alaine, who had already set everything up in the hotel room. The other 2 BMs stayed behind to finish up their hair and then went to a friend's place to get ready.
I met Alaine one day when the new Sephora opened up by where I work. That day I was sorta thinking about buying stuff to do my own makeup for the wedding, but also keeping an eye out for potential makeup artists. I think a part of me wanted to get an Asian artist b/c our features and skin are different, so I befriended Alaine (I liked the makeup that she had put on herself) immediately after she was done helping someone else. Lo and behold, I found out she was indeed a makeup artist (not just a salesperson) and I asked her to send me a portfolio. I could tell she was just starting out with weddings (her entire portfolio was just models and actors) so her prices were affordable, at just $50 for the bride and $40 for all others (that includes travel to wherever you are). Those unused to the world of wedding markup might not think this is such a great deal, but I've been quoted anywhere from $75 to $200 (also the $400 quote for hair & makeup that I mentioned above), and that's not including travel expenses. Unfortunately, I believe her prices have gone up, so if you're interested, you'll have to contact her directly at alaine83 at gmail.com. Anyway, after I found Alaine, I did some other research (I am so indecisive that even after I make a decision, I reconsider it again and again) and I thought her work comparable to even the $200 makeup artist from Bobbi Brown that lots of ppl have raved about on their blogs.
Alaine's makeup kitMAKEUP by ALAINE: A
I enjoyed working with Alaine -- she is friendly and easy to get along with. Even after the wedding, we have kept in touch (we sorta bonded after I learned that she spent some time in Indonesia and that I went to college with her cousin). Most importantly, I like the work that she does, especially with the eyes (I think she made mine look bigger!). She gives a very natural, not overly done look (but just enough of a little something so that you know this is makeup for a special day) which is exactly what I wanted since I never wear makeup. It was pretty comfortable too -- I barely remembered I had on makeup. I just wish that I had asked her to stay for touch-ups b/c it did wear away a little as the day went on. I also wish that I had my makeup done before the BM b/c she sorta had to rush for mine (and there wasn't enough time to add false lashes). :(
You can sorta see the makeup in these pics:
And because I got tired of smiling (I don't do it often, so give me credit!), I look like I'm grimacing here, so I shrunk this photo and then edited out my mouth below so that you can still sorta see Alaine's work.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
How it all came down: the evening before
By the time of the rehearsal at the church, I was quite tired and getting moodier by the minute. Everyone was pissing me off and I didn't know why -- I think I felt like a lot of things were still not done and I was too disorganized to know where to begin to finish these tasks and we had to make it to the rehearsal dinner in time, plus my hormones were raging at the most inopportune time. Also, my nails were chipping already and the cuticles were so dry that I was developing hangnails -- I was so worried that my hands would horrible in pictures, especially since there'd be pics of the new ring. But the church was decorated, we signed our marriage license (the minister would then sign it the following day to make it official and mail it off) with our brothers as witnesses, and we rehearsed the processional twice.
Afterwards, we rushed to pack up the cars to go up to John's on 12th Street for the rehearsal dinner. In choosing a place for the dinner, we had 2 issues to contend with: we figured that the guests wouldn't want to have Chinese food two days in a row, but we also didn't want to travel far from the rehearsal location in Ctown. This severely limited our options and early on we thought of Italian (since Little Italy is within walking distance) as the perfect foil & complement to Chinese (both cuisines embrace 'family-style' meals). We tried one place that received decent reviews in Zagat's but it was only alright and way overpriced. Weeks later, we finally settled on John's in the Village (not walking distance but somewhat close -- just 10 minutes drive) b/c Dear had been there for a birthday party and he liked it. We also did a test drive two weeks before and I was satisfied with both the service and the food.
But on the day of the actual dinner, I was less than satisfied. The room in the back was really dark and they set up two long tables along the wall for us. This wouldn't bother me as much if we had the space to ourselves but there were lots of other ppl there and the space was tight. The other ppl were also very loud so we could barely have a conversation (not that this would be easy if you sat on one end of the table and wanted to mingle with the other end, which is why I'm never a fan of long tables, as opposed to round). I also felt obligated to sit with the old folk since they seemed lost (this is what happens when you only eat Chinese food all the time). I was already in a sour mood so I didn't appreciate the massive agita that my parents and ILs were giving me ("Is there a set menu?" "Do we have a choice -- I hope it's not a choice b/c I don't understand this food" "What's on the menu?"), especially since I didn't have the answers (everything about the dinner was last minute and I barely remembered any of the details). And, as the set menu choices were read out, I realized that my uncle from Indonesia can't really have meat (good thing we didn't do a barbecue dinner, which I thought would be a neat idea) nor does he speak English, much less Italian (the old folk had such a look of puzzlement for things that I take for granted, like "bruschetta," "lasagne," "chicken parmesan"). You can imagine the chaos as we tried to explain what everything was while the waiter was taking down the orders. To make matters worse, the first waiter became deeply confused when he was taking the order and everyone kept changing their mind from one thing to the next. He tried to clarify things by repeating the order back to us but an annoying individual who is now related to me and shall remain nameless tried to "help" by summarizing the order in his own varied permutations. For instance (if you're not already confused by now), the waiter went down his list and around the table saying "OK, you're having stuffed mushroom, you're having the bruschetta, mushroom, mushroom, bruschetta..." but unnamed individual had to say "Everyone but blah, blah, and blah is having the stuffed mushroom, or you can think of it like 3 ppl are having the bruschetta, everyone else is having the mushrooms." The guy came back with extras of everything and we had to give it to the other table.
The agita combined with the nervousness and stress prevented me from finishing my main course (chicken parm), which was alright but not as good as the appetizer (bruschetta with avocado and tomato). A lot of ppl couldn't finish theirs either b/c the portions were gigantic (the leftovers could have been a second meal) and I couldn't take the leftovers home b/c we were going to the hotel, so I felt terrible about the vast wasting. I couldn't stomach the dessert either (the horror!!), a tartuffo. :(
note the long, narrow table and the space we're in compared to the rest of the room
note the dim lighting, mostly from candles
another source of light: a wax "sculpture" that took up a whole table, created by years of dripping candles, I'm sure
REHEARSAL DINNER at JOHN'S: B-
Though the service was pretty darn good (the confused waiter did well to hide his frazzled-ness and annoyance) and the food was alright, I hated being in that crowded, dark room. I think it's a good place to have a casual dinner, maybe other types of parties, but for a rehearsal dinner when ppl are apt to make speeches or special presentations (I felt uncomfortable giving the BMs their gifts though Dear had no problem giving out gifts to the GMs nor the helpers), it's not conducive to getting to know ppl. There's also no parking in that area so some of the drivers arrived as the first course was wrapping up.
Many hours later, I found myself finally at the Embassy Suites on North End Avenue in lower Manhattan. It was a gigantic headache-inducing night to coordinate everyone's ride home or to the hotel and to bring to the hotel all the necessary accoutrements. It was so agita-filled that I just gave up at this point (and from that point on I just didn't give a damn about much of anything until everything was over on Saturday night). I have no idea how ppl got to where they needed to go and how things ended up where they ended up.
If I had to do everything all over again, I'm not sure I would stay in a hotel the night before. Even though it was a convenient excuse to not have to play the Chinese door games (the groom picks up the bride from her home only after he fulfills tasks that the BMs come up with to test his worthiness and to torture him in the process), it was so difficult to coordinate all the stuff that needed to be at the hotel and then to consequently move from the hotel to the church and/or banquet hall. It also didn't help that it was freezing that weekend and many of us weren't prepared for it. If we were at my house, we'd just put on an extra sweater or something. Everyone also has the added task of packing stuff for an overnight stay (clothes, pjs, beauty products, etc.). And initially I thought I struck gold when I got a room at the Embassy b/c the suites are spacious and there is room enough to sleep 6 ppl, but I forgot that there is only one bathroom (there is a sink at the wet bar but no extra toilet and shower) so there was some inefficiency as some waited their turn for the bathroom.
It was nice to have all the women together in one place though. One BM re-did my manicure using her stash of stuff (even though I told her I wanted us to sleep early and we probably wouldn't have time to use any of it), and my cousin also packed a bunch of useful stuff (she wasn't part of the bridal party but my mother asked her to join us and I was very glad for it). I just wish that I kept my cool for the final moments, stayed organized and that we had some time to bond (or play Cranium!) instead of stressing about stuff.
note how my mother is working on the seating arrangements at literally the 12th hour as she waits her turn
As I slowly drifted to sleep at 3 or 4 in the morning, I was glad that I got all the bridezilla moments out of my system and I prayed that none of it would surface the next day.
EMBASSY SUITES HOTEL: A
As I previously blogged, I really like the Embassy and the suites do come in handy when you have a wedding to get ready for. However, it is a bit out of the way of everything (the closest subway is still quite a trek) but it is downtown and should only take 10 minutes to drive to Ctown (barring traffic). It is also spacious and could offer gorgeous views of the Hudson. Unfortunately I gave up that view for a lower floor so that we could get 2 double beds to fit everyone. There is also scarce parking and their lot is exorbitantly expensive (in my eyes) but it is very clean and is everything you'd expect from a Hilton property. There's also free made-to-order breakfast, as well as a regular hot buffet. If we had time, we'd also have had an opportunity to use the NYSC in the building.
Afterwards, we rushed to pack up the cars to go up to John's on 12th Street for the rehearsal dinner. In choosing a place for the dinner, we had 2 issues to contend with: we figured that the guests wouldn't want to have Chinese food two days in a row, but we also didn't want to travel far from the rehearsal location in Ctown. This severely limited our options and early on we thought of Italian (since Little Italy is within walking distance) as the perfect foil & complement to Chinese (both cuisines embrace 'family-style' meals). We tried one place that received decent reviews in Zagat's but it was only alright and way overpriced. Weeks later, we finally settled on John's in the Village (not walking distance but somewhat close -- just 10 minutes drive) b/c Dear had been there for a birthday party and he liked it. We also did a test drive two weeks before and I was satisfied with both the service and the food.
But on the day of the actual dinner, I was less than satisfied. The room in the back was really dark and they set up two long tables along the wall for us. This wouldn't bother me as much if we had the space to ourselves but there were lots of other ppl there and the space was tight. The other ppl were also very loud so we could barely have a conversation (not that this would be easy if you sat on one end of the table and wanted to mingle with the other end, which is why I'm never a fan of long tables, as opposed to round). I also felt obligated to sit with the old folk since they seemed lost (this is what happens when you only eat Chinese food all the time). I was already in a sour mood so I didn't appreciate the massive agita that my parents and ILs were giving me ("Is there a set menu?" "Do we have a choice -- I hope it's not a choice b/c I don't understand this food" "What's on the menu?"), especially since I didn't have the answers (everything about the dinner was last minute and I barely remembered any of the details). And, as the set menu choices were read out, I realized that my uncle from Indonesia can't really have meat (good thing we didn't do a barbecue dinner, which I thought would be a neat idea) nor does he speak English, much less Italian (the old folk had such a look of puzzlement for things that I take for granted, like "bruschetta," "lasagne," "chicken parmesan"). You can imagine the chaos as we tried to explain what everything was while the waiter was taking down the orders. To make matters worse, the first waiter became deeply confused when he was taking the order and everyone kept changing their mind from one thing to the next. He tried to clarify things by repeating the order back to us but an annoying individual who is now related to me and shall remain nameless tried to "help" by summarizing the order in his own varied permutations. For instance (if you're not already confused by now), the waiter went down his list and around the table saying "OK, you're having stuffed mushroom, you're having the bruschetta, mushroom, mushroom, bruschetta..." but unnamed individual had to say "Everyone but blah, blah, and blah is having the stuffed mushroom, or you can think of it like 3 ppl are having the bruschetta, everyone else is having the mushrooms." The guy came back with extras of everything and we had to give it to the other table.The agita combined with the nervousness and stress prevented me from finishing my main course (chicken parm), which was alright but not as good as the appetizer (bruschetta with avocado and tomato). A lot of ppl couldn't finish theirs either b/c the portions were gigantic (the leftovers could have been a second meal) and I couldn't take the leftovers home b/c we were going to the hotel, so I felt terrible about the vast wasting. I couldn't stomach the dessert either (the horror!!), a tartuffo. :(
note the long, narrow table and the space we're in compared to the rest of the room
note the dim lighting, mostly from candles
another source of light: a wax "sculpture" that took up a whole table, created by years of dripping candles, I'm sureREHEARSAL DINNER at JOHN'S: B-
Though the service was pretty darn good (the confused waiter did well to hide his frazzled-ness and annoyance) and the food was alright, I hated being in that crowded, dark room. I think it's a good place to have a casual dinner, maybe other types of parties, but for a rehearsal dinner when ppl are apt to make speeches or special presentations (I felt uncomfortable giving the BMs their gifts though Dear had no problem giving out gifts to the GMs nor the helpers), it's not conducive to getting to know ppl. There's also no parking in that area so some of the drivers arrived as the first course was wrapping up.
Many hours later, I found myself finally at the Embassy Suites on North End Avenue in lower Manhattan. It was a gigantic headache-inducing night to coordinate everyone's ride home or to the hotel and to bring to the hotel all the necessary accoutrements. It was so agita-filled that I just gave up at this point (and from that point on I just didn't give a damn about much of anything until everything was over on Saturday night). I have no idea how ppl got to where they needed to go and how things ended up where they ended up.
If I had to do everything all over again, I'm not sure I would stay in a hotel the night before. Even though it was a convenient excuse to not have to play the Chinese door games (the groom picks up the bride from her home only after he fulfills tasks that the BMs come up with to test his worthiness and to torture him in the process), it was so difficult to coordinate all the stuff that needed to be at the hotel and then to consequently move from the hotel to the church and/or banquet hall. It also didn't help that it was freezing that weekend and many of us weren't prepared for it. If we were at my house, we'd just put on an extra sweater or something. Everyone also has the added task of packing stuff for an overnight stay (clothes, pjs, beauty products, etc.). And initially I thought I struck gold when I got a room at the Embassy b/c the suites are spacious and there is room enough to sleep 6 ppl, but I forgot that there is only one bathroom (there is a sink at the wet bar but no extra toilet and shower) so there was some inefficiency as some waited their turn for the bathroom.
It was nice to have all the women together in one place though. One BM re-did my manicure using her stash of stuff (even though I told her I wanted us to sleep early and we probably wouldn't have time to use any of it), and my cousin also packed a bunch of useful stuff (she wasn't part of the bridal party but my mother asked her to join us and I was very glad for it). I just wish that I kept my cool for the final moments, stayed organized and that we had some time to bond (or play Cranium!) instead of stressing about stuff.
note how my mother is working on the seating arrangements at literally the 12th hour as she waits her turnAs I slowly drifted to sleep at 3 or 4 in the morning, I was glad that I got all the bridezilla moments out of my system and I prayed that none of it would surface the next day.
EMBASSY SUITES HOTEL: A
As I previously blogged, I really like the Embassy and the suites do come in handy when you have a wedding to get ready for. However, it is a bit out of the way of everything (the closest subway is still quite a trek) but it is downtown and should only take 10 minutes to drive to Ctown (barring traffic). It is also spacious and could offer gorgeous views of the Hudson. Unfortunately I gave up that view for a lower floor so that we could get 2 double beds to fit everyone. There is also scarce parking and their lot is exorbitantly expensive (in my eyes) but it is very clean and is everything you'd expect from a Hilton property. There's also free made-to-order breakfast, as well as a regular hot buffet. If we had time, we'd also have had an opportunity to use the NYSC in the building.
Monday, October 23, 2006
How it all came down: the morning before
I started this day bright and early (7:30!) in the Flower District, making decisions about flowers with BM's friend, who helped with the flowers and shall be called floral friend (or FF) from this point on. Yes, I had planned on doing all the flowers by myself but when everyone told me that I was crazy, my BM enlisted the help of her friend who's done flowers for friends' weddings before. So I still had a pretty active, hands-on role with the flowers but I didn't have to do the extra complicated stuff and there was someone there to guide me on what to do -- a good compromise in the thick of wedding craze. Anyway, FF and I had met up two weeks prior at the market to see what's in season and to take note of prices. I told her that my budget was $300 (I purposely undershot this figure, knowing that I'd go over), that I wanted a fall color palette (specifically orange, red, yellow) and that I'd like callas in my bouquet. I also told her about the arrangements that I wanted for the church, which would be moved to the banquet hall later on, the corsages for the mothers, and all the boutonnieres.
So the Friday before the wedding, we rushed around the various crowded shops to get choice picks (7:30 is right in the middle of the primetime -- towards the end of our stay we were sorta scrambling to get nice stuff). FF had already set aside some flowers she saw (she got there a little earlier) and I approved this bunch of roses from store 1 vs. roses from store 2, etc. In the end, we got 1 bunch of deep red roses & 2 different types of red callas for my bouquet; 2 bunches of yellowish-orange roses and 2 bunches of yellowish-orange callas for the BMs' bouquets; 2 bunches of red roses for relative boutonnieres; several bunches of orange, orange/yellow, yellow/red carnations for the pews; 1 stalk of lavenderish-red orchids for the corsages; 1 bunch tinted euculyptus, 2 bunches wax flowers, 1 bunch lavender, and 1 bunch Japanese hydrangea for the church steps arrangements. All this went over my meager budget but still came in under $500.
At the flower market, once you pick out the flowers, you get a bill from one of the workers who prices everything for you off the top of his head (I think there's some scamming going on there). Then you bring the bill to the counter to pay while some other guys wrap everything up (somewhat neatly) for you. Some places take credit card but some don't and at one of the places we had to pool all our money together to get what we wanted. After buying all these flowers (heavy and bulky, but fit in the car), we headed down to the church where we could start arranging things. We got buckets of warm water to let the roses drink and bloom, and we prepped them by removing thorns, outer petals and leaves. We also started to arrange the carnations for the pew buckets while FF started working on the bouquets. FF also showed us how to make the relative boutonnieres (just a simple red rose) by snipping, taping, and sticking a pin through. With the help of 2 BMs and a friend (Dear also helped prep the roses and cut the floral foam to fit the buckets), we were done by lunchtime. At that point, FF continued working on the bouquets (she had done 2 BM ones already; I think and they were so lovely!) while I went with a BM to the friend's place to do our nails.
pictures of our work area (I think the flowers are so pretty even before they're arranged)
Close-up of my brother's boutonniere (red rose with wax flower) and the GM's bout. (yellow rose with wax flower)
So the Friday before the wedding, we rushed around the various crowded shops to get choice picks (7:30 is right in the middle of the primetime -- towards the end of our stay we were sorta scrambling to get nice stuff). FF had already set aside some flowers she saw (she got there a little earlier) and I approved this bunch of roses from store 1 vs. roses from store 2, etc. In the end, we got 1 bunch of deep red roses & 2 different types of red callas for my bouquet; 2 bunches of yellowish-orange roses and 2 bunches of yellowish-orange callas for the BMs' bouquets; 2 bunches of red roses for relative boutonnieres; several bunches of orange, orange/yellow, yellow/red carnations for the pews; 1 stalk of lavenderish-red orchids for the corsages; 1 bunch tinted euculyptus, 2 bunches wax flowers, 1 bunch lavender, and 1 bunch Japanese hydrangea for the church steps arrangements. All this went over my meager budget but still came in under $500.
At the flower market, once you pick out the flowers, you get a bill from one of the workers who prices everything for you off the top of his head (I think there's some scamming going on there). Then you bring the bill to the counter to pay while some other guys wrap everything up (somewhat neatly) for you. Some places take credit card but some don't and at one of the places we had to pool all our money together to get what we wanted. After buying all these flowers (heavy and bulky, but fit in the car), we headed down to the church where we could start arranging things. We got buckets of warm water to let the roses drink and bloom, and we prepped them by removing thorns, outer petals and leaves. We also started to arrange the carnations for the pew buckets while FF started working on the bouquets. FF also showed us how to make the relative boutonnieres (just a simple red rose) by snipping, taping, and sticking a pin through. With the help of 2 BMs and a friend (Dear also helped prep the roses and cut the floral foam to fit the buckets), we were done by lunchtime. At that point, FF continued working on the bouquets (she had done 2 BM ones already; I think and they were so lovely!) while I went with a BM to the friend's place to do our nails.
pictures of our work area (I think the flowers are so pretty even before they're arranged)
close-up of BM bouquet before the ribbon was tied on and before the roses opened up more
Sometime between this and the rehearsal, BM's sister went and got a bunch of cheap roses for the petal toss at the end of the ceremony and an ad hoc tablecloth for the sign-in table at the church.
The outer petals we pulled off the roses, plus some of the carnation petals for good measure.
A word of caution/tips for DIYers who would also go to the Flower District to buy flowers -- I think the prices are more flexible than you would think so I think there's room for bargaining, especially since a lot of the places only accept cash when you do not have a business account with them. I, however, was too chicken and bewildered to do so myself. I also sensed some shady business dealings and overall I thought it a shady business that there are no displayed prices, just some guy who quotes prices from his head (as I mentioned above). And FF said 2 different ppl at one store quoted her 2 different prices. Also, you should buy a little more than you think you need b/c some of the flowers were already damaged when we opened them up (we also did some damage as we worked too).
BOUQUETS
The pretty bouquets sitting in plastic takeout containers, ready for safekeeping for the next day (note the notches cut in the covers to keep the bouquets standing straight in the water).
My bouquet, decorated with ivory double-faced ribbon and round pearl-head pins.
With the flash, you notice the different callas: the darker one had a yellow center and the redder one had a dark center
Posing with the bouquets
BOUTONNIERES/CORSAGES
Spraying everything with water to keep it fresh
See how the relative boutonnieres opened up so much -- I think more of the outer petals should have been removed.
The groom's boutonniere (dark red calla with wax flowers)
I wanted Dear to have double callas but the market didn't have any mini callas so 2 of the regular-sized ones would have been too big.
Close-up of my brother's boutonniere (red rose with wax flower) and the GM's bout. (yellow rose with wax flower)
Close-up of mothers' corsages (they are composed of 3 orchids wired together; I think they are phalenopsis)
Originally FF wanted to order cattleya orchids (just one big one) but the price we were quoted was way expensive and I'm kinda glad b/c these turned out well and there were also leftovers to use for my hair in the evening. The one stalk of orchids we used was either $10 or $15 (don't remember).
Fathers' boutonniere (yellow calla with wax flower)
In retrospect, I think the GMs should have had the callas to match the groom and the fathers should have had the roses.
CHURCH STEP CENTERPIECES
FF putting the finishing touches on the Japanese hydrangea arrangements for the church steps (we could have used more flowers for the large vases -- I didn't know how they'd sit in the vase -- but I think FF did a good job of filling them up with what we had).
The ingredients for the tall arrangements from left to right: Japanese hydrangea (I wish we got the longer stemmed ones b/c the vases were a lot bigger than we thought but so pretty on their own too!), wax flowers, lavender, tinted eucalyptus.
We got the hourglass-shaped vases from the clearance section in Target for $20 each, which are totally reusable (just have to figure out where). They are huge, about 17" tall I think, with a wide mouth, which made it difficult to fill in with a limited budget. The flowers for this part were less than $100.
PEW FLOWERS
Our rendition of the pew buckets a la Martha but way cheaper, using about 12 stems of carnations for each bucket.
view down the aisle towards the doors (ignore how the floral monogram is crooked on the doors -- we eventually fixed that)
view up the aisle towards the steps (the lights are on only at night b/c during the day the huge windows let in a lot of light)
With a bunch of 25 carnations for $7.50, this was a lot more economical than using hydrangeas. I think they were just as lush-looking and maybe even nicer than Martha's, since they were such bright colors and fit in with my color scheme. The buckets were purchased from Wal-Mart for about $1.50 each (we bought 12), 2 packs of floral foam were about $6 (I think), and we hung each with tulle (part of a 1000' roll that we used for the favors as well -- purchased from AC Moore using a 50% off coupon for a total of $5, I think).
Before FF got her hands on the pew arrangements, our creations looked a bit ragged and sparse:
Then she worked her magic and they came out much neater and so happy-looking:
Once the buckets were hung on the pews, we added some water into the buckets. The cube of floral foam stuffed into the bottom to hold the flowers in place also helped to keep the flowers hydrated.
FLOWERS GRADE: A
OK, so I worked on the flowers a little too, so it's like grading myself here but I have to say FF did a phenomenal job. She doesn't do flowers professionally but I did pay her a little something and I have to give credit where it's due -- she went above and beyond what I expected (she said she'd work on the bouquets only and just show us how to do the other stuff but she ended up also putting the finishing touches on the stuff we worked on, plus the church step arrangements which turned out to be quite a challenge). She was very organized and did a good job with the limited budget I gave her (I changed relative boutonnieres to roses instead of carnations at the last minute so I'm sure we would have stuck to the budget even closer if I hadn't made that change). She also thought of solutions I wouldn't have, including coming up with a variety of flowers for my hair for my second dress (the flower we saw at our first meeting weren't available on the actual day we needed them). I also thought the bouquets came out beautiful (though I'm surprised they didn't come out as nice in pictures), the groom's, fathers, and GM boutonnieres were nice too, as well as the mothers' corsages. When I saw all the completed flowers, my stress level definitely declined a few notches at their gorgeousness. I'm not sure if FF would be interested in future work but if anyone is interested, I could definitely forward her your info.
Final thoughts: One thing I didn't think of until I saw pictures is that I should have used a different flower for Dear's bout. b/c the dark red calla was barely visible against the black tux in pictures. Perhaps there should have been some small lighter-colored accent flowers or foliage behind the calla....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
